Aisha is not mother of the believers

In the name of Allah the Compassionate the Merciful. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the universe. And peace be upon Muhammad and his Pure Progeny, and may Allah send his curses on their enemies until the Day of Judgement

Whenever Aisha is criticized the first answer you should expect from Ahlul Khilaf is this verse, along with emotional cries of "how could you hate your own mother!!!"

The Prophet is more worthy of the believers than themselves, and his wives are [in the position of] their mothers. And those of [blood] relationship are more entitled [to inheritance] in the decree of Allah than the [other] believers and the emigrants, except that you may do to your close associates a kindness [through bequest]. That was in the Book inscribed. [Surah al-Ahzab 33:6]

So from this the Ahlul Khilaf and some unfortunate Shia's deduce that the wives of the Prophet are mothers of the believers in the sense that they deserve the same love and respect you would give your own mother. Our position is that mother of the believers is not a term necessarily meaning that they are worthy of respect. We believe "mother" is a term used to say that the wives of the Prophet (saw) can not marry after the Nabi (saw) dies. Because:

…nor is it right for you that you should annoy Allah’s Messenger, or that you should marry his widows after him at any time. Truly such a thing is in Allah’s sight an enormity. [Surah al-Ahzab 33:53]

 Here are some quotes from Sunni books of Tafsir supporting this position:

قال عز وجل: { وَأَزْوَاجُهُ أُمَّهَاتُهُمْ } ولا يحل لمسلم أن يتزوج من نساء النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم شيئاً أبداً            Allah (azwj) said: {And his wives are their mothers} (it means) and it is not permissible for a Muslim to marry from the women of the Prophet (saw) ever. 

[Tafsir Muqatil bin Sulayman] 

وأخرج ابن أبي حاتم عن قتادة رضي الله عنه في قوله { وأزواجه أمهاتهم } يقول: أمهاتهم في الحرمة، لا يحل لمؤمن أن ينكح امرأة من نساء النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم في حياته ان طلق، ولا بعد موته. هي حرام على كل مؤمن مثل حرمة أمه.                                                                                                                            And from Ibn Abi Hatim from Qatadah (ra) on the words of Allah {And his wives are their mothers} he says: They are their mothers in prohibition, it is not permissible for a believer to marry a woman from the women of the Prophet (saw) in his life if they divorce and not after his death. It is prohibited for every believer just like the prohibition of (marriage to) his mother. 

 وأخرج ابن سعد وابن المنذر والبيهقي في سننه عن عائشة أن امرأة قالت لها: يا أمي فقالت: أنا أم رجالكم ولست أم نسائكم.                                                                                                                                      And from Ibn Sa'ad and Ibn Mandhur and al-Bayhaqi in his sunnah from Aisha when a woman said to her "oh my mother" so she said: "I am the mother of your men and not mother of your women.  

[Tafsir Dur al-Manthoor, Jalaluddin al-Suyuti] 

وقوله { وأزْوَاجُهُ أمَّهاتُهُمْ } يقول وحرمة أزواجه حرمة أمهاتهم علـيهم، فـي أنهن يحرم علـيهن نكاحهن من بعد وفـاته، كما يحرمُ علـيهم نكاح أمهاتهم.                                                                                                [In a long hadith from Qatadah] And the words of Allah {And his wives are their mothers} he says and the prohibition of (marrying) his wives (is the same as) the prohibition of (marrying) their mothers upon them, in that they are prohibited upon them in marriage after his (the prophet's) death, like how it is prohibited for them to marry their mothers.

[Tafsir al-Tabari]

So according to the sahaba and tabi'een like Qatadah and Muqatil bin Sulayman, along with Aisha herself, mother of the believers means they are not to be married to anyone other than the Prophet (saw), not that they deserve the respect that a believer would give to his own mother.

But let us assume that this verse is literally referring to respecting the wives of the Prophet (saw) as if they were your own mother. There is an easy response to that as well. The rank of mother of the believers according to our Prophet (saw) comes with three conditions:

Narrated to us Mohammad Ibn Umar from Abdullah Ibn Ja’far from Mohammad Ibn Abi Harmala from Ataa Ibn Yasaar who said: The Prophet(صلی الله و عليه وآله) said to his wives: “Whoever of you fears Allah and does not commit an open indecency and stays put on the carpet of her house, she will be my wife in the Hereafter.” [Source: Tabaqaat Al-Kubra, Vol. 20 Pg. 198, picture of book at end of article]

So the three conditions are fearing Allah, not committing an open indecency, and staying put in the house. Did Aisha break these conditions? Let's see. Open indecency could be an issue for another article, but for now I want to focus on "staying put in the carpet of her house." Aisha after the killing of Uthman was involved in battles, politics and other fitna surrounding the battle of Jamal. She obviously was not in her house, but went out to commit this transgression. Her war against Imam Ali (as) made her go against the third commandment, meaning according to this hadith she is no longer wife of the Prophet (saw)! So even if we are to respect the other wives as we respect our mothers, we do not have to respect Aisha in any way shape or form because she committed this sin. 

Quote from Tabaqaat al-Kubra by Ibn Sa'ad: